How to save your ‘social battery’

Do you feel burnt out, drained and socially depleted? Here’s the most valuable lesson you will learn today.

YOU CAN’T BE SOMEONE TO EVERYONE: Social season is coming, with Diwali parties, social gatherings, school holidays, Christmas and new year’s. Whether you are a busy extrovert or a tired introvert — as your social sphere widens during this time of the year, save this article and refer back to it when you feel overwhelmed.

You need to be ready for having your social battery drained by people who might want things from you, especially your time, energy and attention.

Be graciously unavailable

The world is run on connections, who you know, who knows you and how well you are liked. This is the truth. We are still tribal like that and we function as pack animals. So, you have this deep desire to be liked and respected but you can’t be everyone’s bestie.

Be kind, respectful but don’t overstep your boundaries socially. Learn the art of saying NO. Even to invitations from people who its difficult to say NO to.

Your greatest mission in life should be to focus on your own health, happiness success and having a calm nervous system. You can’t afford to be around people who aren’t aligned with your future goals or mission in life. Giving up your time and energy to the wrong people will set you back and hamper growth.

3 step process to hack this

1. Get clarity on what you really want for yourself in your future.

2. Say NO to the things that don’t align with this vision.

3. Say YES to the things that do.

This includes people, social events, places, food, situations and habits.

Be ruthless with your TIME

Choose carefully where you spend your energy. Being ruthless with your time is an important step to executing your priorities. Instead of saying NO perhaps you can learn to find creative ways to not say YES to everything.

Of course, do it kindly and don’t bother if someone thinks you are an elitist, a snob or being difficult. That is simply their perception. You are honouring your truth by choosing who to spend time with.

If someone isn’t directly tied to your quality of life, don’t over commit. The tighter you keep your inner circle around your own personal goals in life, the higher quality of people you will attract. You might meet a high volume of people and you can still be kind, friendly, generous and outgoing. But don’t be generous with your time. Guard it and protect it.

Grow the skill of discernment

Handle your ‘people pleasing’ nature and recognise it’s not necessary to be gregarious with your extroversion always. Evaluate your need for validation or acceptance and truly discern who you spend your time with.

This skill initially takes practice but can become intuitive. You can quickly gauge someone and then decide how much time you should give them. A good way is to ask if this person or social event is adding value to your life.

This could mean

• Are they aligned to my higher goals and vision.

• Are they good for my nervous system or do they cause me tension.

• Is this connection healthy and non-dramatic.

• Are they kind and genuine.

• Are they nice people and will they care for me and my needs.

I wish you the power to keep your group to a high standard and distance yourself from people who don’t add value, and remember you are NOT obligated to add value for everyone else. Saving your social battery is crucial to a happy and fulfilled human experience. I wish you this power.

wknd@khaleejtimes.com

Connect with Anjaan across social media @MeditateWithAnjaan